Posts Tagged ‘Big boy’

Big Boy and I broke up about a week ago…  Before you go because you think this is a whiny post, give me a chance…

I have found the death of one relationship opens me up to a better one.

I have found the death of one relationship opens me up to a better one.

Mourning the loss of a relationship, whether it from a break up or death, is difficult. I went into the sadness of the break up thinking, once again, that life will stop for my broken heart (stolen from some country song…), but, just like in the song, it didn’t. The sun still came up, mama still needed care, and life went on.

I had to get up and take care of things.

I was angry with him for a while, but realized being angry with him would do nothing but raise my blood pressure. I’m learning to allow myself to feel whatever I feel and continue to move on with my life.

Do I miss him? Of course I do! Am I cold for breaking up with him over a lack of communication? I’ll let you decide that for yourself. Just remember, I’m not talking about a normal lack of communication. I’m talking about him not taking my calls or calling me back. I’m talking about an entire week of not hearing anything from him. Should I have waited longer than a week? Again, I’ll let you decide.

I’m grateful to him. This lack of communication forced me to look at what I need in a relationship and what I want in the man I’m with. He’s a great guy and I wish him the best, but this break up has been a boon to me. Let me explain.

You see, I was crying about losing him and how “my life was over”. Something from deep within me said, “Why is your life over? Do you truly NEED a man in your life in order to live?”

DIY project

I thought about that question for a long time and realized I was okay even if I didn’t have a man in my life. So, here I am. I’m figuring out how to do all those things that other single women do every day. I’m learning that grass grows every day and needs to be mowed more that sporadically. I’m learning that one must eat whether they feel like cooking or not.

I’ve made some proactive changes, as well. I’ve started doing yoga for exercise and I’ve spoken to people about how I feel and what I’m thinking.

I hope you let me know what you think about this post or any part of it. I would really like to hear from you!